| LUST: i'm alive but barely, it's true |
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| 02:06pm 09/08/2002 |
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mood:  discontent music: "strong enough to break" , hanson
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>>access to the internet has been getting harder and harder to obtain. Not to mention the fact that i loathe and despise typing on this damned laptop. i wish i could write more in here, but it seems like we've all been drifting apart this summer. i try to keep in touch with everyone, but as per usual, i find myself picking favorites.
>>my birthday is this monday. i was trying to think of something we could all do that would be fun, then stef kind of took charge and now we're having the underpants party at bitch's. it sounds like fun, but i can't really see everyone getting into it. afterwards i'm having a camp on the tramp with three or four people, and we'll watch My Own Private Idaho and play DDR (not that we won't do that at bitch's, of course.)
>>i haven't been very lustful lately. it's kind of weird. in order for me to lust after someone, i can't really know them. hard to explain, really. like, once i started really talking to keith, it wasn't the same.
>>i miss jason and matt and walking around scranton with nothing to do. i miss the cafe. i miss that state of mind where i was unsure of myself but still happy, trying to discover more about myself and about other people. i don't want anything more than a couple of friends who i can joke around with and be completely serious at the same time. i want some of that intensity back.
>>i tried to paint stef last night. it came out alright, but i don't really think it looks like her.
>>i still don't know whether i'm going to purple door or not next weekend. argh.
>>i'll bet you anything that hubbell will call within the hour. he's fun to talk to most of the time, but i really don't feel like it today.
>>we've got plenty of time / or maybe we don't / but i'd like to think so / so let me pretend.
>>lust<< |
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| 04:30pm 07/08/2002 |
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thanks for the kick in the ass, matt.
i was kind of waiting around for other people to write in this like they used to before i ended up writing more than everyone. i don't know; i'm still interested in this whole everybody journal thing, if not to hold on to at least something at home before i leave, but i don't think anybody else cares much anymore, if ever.
i wasn't even sure if anyone was reading what was written, but i checked a couple times a day, waiting for someone to write in this so i wouldn't be the livejournal jerk, writing when no one was reading or giving a shit.
i'm willing if you are.
stef
btw. matt, i tried writing a comment in your deadjournal, but it just fucks up for me all the time. that's what happened with when i tried to set up 7_deadly_sins on dj |
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| hi |
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| 01:34pm 07/08/2002 |
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well, seeing as how no oen uses the old journal, and even if we did, near the end no one paid attention to a thing a different person said
so i have made my own new journal, if anyone wants to read it, its www.deadjournal.com/~shell_shock |
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| LUST: ....blah blah rant blah.... |
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| 09:50pm 01/08/2002 |
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mood:  complacent music: more of the weakerthans
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>>been too busy to update lately. tomorrow's the last day of arts alive, though, so after that you will all be hearing from me more often.
>>damn jason, never answering his phone. grr.
>>i'm going to go hang out with koryn around the summit now. and yes, i know it's already ten oclock. bah. later.
>>lust |
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| 12:47am 31/07/2002 |
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i think we should change the password to "spicytomatoes" that would be fun. too bad the whole world would know it now. |
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| Lis: be it ever so humble..... |
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| 08:38pm 28/07/2002 |
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it's been a while. i was on vacation plus i didnt have much to write. i went up to lake ontario, near a city called oswego (about 45 minutes out of syracuse) new york. it's probably one of my favorite places to be in the world. unfortunately the weather was only moderately good. that upsets me a lot. i mean you go on vacation once sometimes twice a year, and it has to be dampened by rain or clouds.
im watching 1st kid on abc right now, and when sinbad is teaching the kid how to dance it reminds me of jesus chris at the school dances, not while playing dance dance. and stef, the kid still reminds me of longo, especially when he bunches up his face and cries.
i met shelby's boyfriend when he was in with her. he's a really nice guy. they act like a married couple. i guess they're "in love". and while im on the topic of boyfriends, miki's boyfriend sucks ass. he's controlling. he doesnt like shelby because of her sister, so she couldnt hang out with her for a while. people have changed so much it's scary.
i wish i had more to type since i havent written in a while, but its been uneventful |
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| 11:41pm 27/07/2002 |
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You are Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky the Fourth
A strange and fun loving kid. You are an expert computer hacker and have all the really important, meaningful dialog in the series :).
Which Cowboy Bebop Character Are You?
go to hell, all of you that don't write in here.
love you madly,
stef |
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| 09:54pm 25/07/2002 |
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i'm iming lb when she's sitting right next to me, less than a foot away. right on.
will someone please freaking write in this?
i find that the more i'm not with you, the more stuff i get done. haha, but i don't think i'd change the way things are.
stef |
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| stef___brimming |
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| 12:12am 25/07/2002 |
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mood:  awake music: the white stripes "fell in love with a girl"
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the last few days have been good; i've seen people and it's made me happy. i think i'm going to write about it in my other journal, and if you love me you should check it out....just click "friends" in the right hand corner.
jason, needless to say, i'm curious as hell as to how your life has changed in what seems like only a few days. however, if you feel like sharing, lb and i are talking sunday for more cowboy beboping...come with.
one of the last dreams i had the last time i slept was that i was at this summer camp, and there was a really retro high school feel to it (circa 1970s), and all my friends and their friends were there. sabrina cali was there. i remember being on a bottom floor of some kind of building, and gabe leans over the second floor railing and we say hi (apparently it's like a halloween day, because he's wearing wigs and stuff), and he says "____ is looking for you." and i think that it would be fun to hide from him, so i join gabe on the second floor, and i hide in some kind of closet, and then a bunch of kids i don't know come in, and they're being really noisy and i try to shush them, and they don't understand the point of hiding. they think it's really stupid. i find a back door and escape, and i join some other friends, but the dream lost some sort of appeal. i woke up as rumors of camp dance began circulating, and i was looking forward to that. maybe this is some kind of metaphor.....i looked it up in the dream dictionary, and it was a bit strange. i'm trying to figure out how it applies.
i have so much to say. argh.
stef |
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| jason : cheak it out |
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| 12:04am 25/07/2002 |
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damn i just made a whole entry and it got screwed. well here i go again, i met a girl named samantha and i fel in love and my life plan changed and i said it was ironic i thought i was going to be alone, thats it in a nut shell. it was nicer b4 but i dont anna type it out agian |
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| haha |
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| 12:50pm 23/07/2002 |
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this kid reminds me of will |
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| 5 |
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| 10:32am 23/07/2002 |
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mood:  lonely music: john mayer "back to you"/ nelly furtado "hey man"
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5 THINGS YOU HATE
- smoking
- lack of freedom
- feeling unsafe
- fakery/lies
- crap music
5 THINGS ON YOUR DESK
- oil paints
- a picture of lis and i from many, many years ago
- tarot cards
- aa batteries
- a "my little pony": applejack
5 OF YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS
- lis
- lb
- gabe
- scoob
- will
5 THINGS YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW
- biting off my nail polish
- listening to john mayer/nelly furtado
- downloading the hives' "veni vidi vicious"
- contemplating staying in my pajamas until i don't have to
- writing a letter
5 NEGATIVE FACTS ABOUT YOU
- i start fights, sometimes for fun
- i'm paranoid
- i'm poor
- i'm overly sensitive
- i'm tricky to figure out sometimes
5 POSITIVE FACTS ABOUT YOU
- i write
- i can draw, paint
- i try to be there for people when they really need me to be
- i'm funny
- i'm smart....yes, ACTUALLY i am
5 THINGS YOU PLAN TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
- be truly happy
- be in a band
- attempt to go for the things i want
- fall in love
- get over my paranoia and just let everything go
5 THINGS YOU CAN'T DO
- stop biting my nails
- stop feeling guilty about everything
- forget
- sing well
- get my priorities right...according to my parents
THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT TURN YOU ON
- a similar sense of humor/smile
- sex hair
- beautiful eyes
- soft skin
- complete adoration in me and everything i do (pushing it, aren't i?)
5 FAVORITE MOVIES
- high fidelity
- the virgin suicides
- hot wet american summer
- interview with a vampire
- chasing amy
5 PEOPLE CURRENTLY ON YOUR BAD SIDE
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NAME 5 THINGS YOU ARE SCARED OF
- getting hurt
- being murdered/raped
- always letting other people make me feel less of myself
- never accomplishing anything
- being alone
s |
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| 11:18am 22/07/2002 |
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"Your password is too easy to guess. It's recommended that you change it, otherwise you risk having your journal hijacked. Visit http://www.livejournal.com/changepassword.bml"
i love how they're just telling us this now. ah, well, it's time for a change anyway. let's make it something fun.
s |
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| so let's do some living... |
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| 10:58am 22/07/2002 |
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mood:  lazy
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fair, fair elle-buttone, i have missed you as well. i wasn't on the schedule saturday; in fact i called saturday asking for my schedule of next week and alicia didn't even do it yet. but i know i'm working tonight 4-9. i hope i remember how haha. anyway...mexican nudist? feel free to go into explicit detail about this costume. how is best friend jon being an asshole?
i was off parading about the beach and at college and yo ucan read all about it at: www.livejournal.com/users/pure_envy/
we need to cowboy bebop again. maybe saturday? for real this time? lb and jason can do the chain smoking contest.
i just want to touch you so bad.
i need to write something; i'm going crazy. there are plenty of ideas in my head but i'm just so lazy. i've actually haven't been on the computer much and when i am, it's just to see what's up with everyone.
soon during one of these days i'm going to "waste" a whole roll of film (maybe two, hehe) on lb, jason, and will. don't ask me why; i just want to.
i think i'm going to go outside and attempt to finish a book, because i can't seem to finish anything else.
s |
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| LUST: a perfect mess |
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| 10:33pm 21/07/2002 |
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mood: apathetic music: "tearjerker", red hot chili peppers
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>>not much happening lately. or maybe too much. last week was insane, between dealing with arts alive, helping out at vacation bible school, youth group every night, and work. remind me never to take on that much responsibility at once ever again.
>>went to cinemark to play ddr today and the machine wasn't working. to hell with it, *now*.
>>former best friend jon is being an asshole. to hell with him, *now*.
>>yesterday abi and i went to steve's house for a pool party, and i ended up making out with kyle. it was nice to vent myself somewhat.
>>keith came to halloween day as a mexican nudist. it was hot as a motherfucking crotch.
>>i miss you, stef! i haven't talked to you in over a week, and it's making me sad! sorry i wasn't at work yesterday; i had some church stuff to do, and they couldn't get a replacement for me.
>>they put me on for day shift on tuesday, and i have arts alive, and i told them over a month ago that i can't work weekdays before 5 until august. damn them. to hell with them, *now*.
>>i need a vacation.
>>well, anyway, just thought i'd update everyone on my life. why doesn't enyone write in here anymore? to hell with you all for not writing, *now*.
>>lust<< |
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| 10:02am 20/07/2002 |
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meow. i'm back. i have much to say but i'm still thinking it over. anything interesting happen? yesterday i discovered i'd still be okay if i ate poo, if i was forced to eat poo, and if i was dying from eating poo. i'll write something longer later; you know me
s |
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| hello, everybody |
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| 09:38pm 16/07/2002 |
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mood: impatient music: "Prison Sex" by Tool
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yeah...i hate waiting to call ashley, or waiting for the call. i am going to tinks thursday to see her. i like when people ask how we could possibly love each other. its like a little secret. i cant wait to see her. i really miss her. anyway...il stop bitching. i just wrote here so that you guys know my heart is still beating. bye bye |
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| 10:10am 16/07/2002 |
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mood: sleepy music: harvey danger "flagpole sitta"
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why is it that every birthday, i never really feel any older? |
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| LUST: one decisive stare |
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| 11:31pm 15/07/2002 |
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mood:  thoughtful music: "Aside", the weakerthans
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>>my ribs that show through tshirts and these shoes i got for free
>>i'm unconsoled i'm lonely i am so much better than i used to be
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>>hey, matt, i just wanted to thank you for what you wrote last week. it really left a deep impression on me. this song. you were the first thing i thought of when i heard this song for the first time last night. i very highly recommend the weakerthans. their lyrics are too good for words. if that made any sense whatsoever.
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>>in love with love and lousy poetry
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>>that was the line that did it. i just had to tell you about this song.
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>>rj said he'd do me in aisle five of wal mart tomorrow night, if any of you wanna watch.
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>>i'll write more to you later, matt. i still need to think of what to say.
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>>oh, yeah. i found an old copy of Walden, Civil Disobedience, and some poetry by Thoreau in my grandparents' basement. you get it when i finish reading it.
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>>arts alive and vbs are really draining. i don't even know if i have the energy to finish this sen |
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| my path |
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| 10:47pm 14/07/2002 |
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mood:  bitchy
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my path stef, isint realy the path to any where like rich but im now taking an actuive role in my life when b4 i just sat down and let what happen happen. now im going to make it happen. im going to become a great bassist have a great band and love life adn find a girl i can live and not just be comforable with but actully love being around.
thats my thing now im making life happen not just waiting |
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7_deadly_sins's journal